As moms, I think we have a special understanding of how fast time goes, and how meaningful every little moment is.
I don't know what it is about motherhood, but it's like God put it in our hearts to just have this quiet voice saying, "You're going to miss this" I suspect that this is why it means so much to us to have photos. We take them with our phones all the time, but we long to be in the photos too - To have those precious memories bottled up and safely treasured. Why can something so special and meaningful feel so daunting?
This post is for you - For me - And for every mom who is going into family photos with even an ounce of insecurity or nervousness, here are the five things that I wish every mom knew before her first family photo session:
One: You don’t have to look a certain way before getting in front of the camera.
You don’t have to be a certain weight, have your nails a certain length or shape, or wait until your hair is dyed again.
Your children don’t see those things. They see your smile, your laughter, your embrace, your comforting words, your gentle instruction, your kind encouragement. They see you—and they love every wrinkle and every grey hair.
Our culture loves a “picture-perfect” ideal of womanhood, but I’m here to tell you: a mother surrounded by her children, smiling and present—that’s the most beautiful woman in the world.
Two: Let go of expectations (and the bribes!)
Lower your expectations for how your family behaves.
Come into the session with a positive attitude—not the kind that comes from bribing smiles or begging for “good” behavior, but from embracing the season you’re in.
Love every wildly boisterous laugh, every shy snuggle, and yes—even the two-year-old chaos. It’s all part of your story.
Someone will likely spill something. Someone might get a grass stain. Someone definitely won’t want to smile on command. And you know what? That’s okay. The best photos often come from the in-between moments—the silly grins, the messy cuddles, the real interactions. Give yourself permission to let go of control and trust that it’s enough. It always is.
Three: When it comes to outfits… done is better than perfect.
I know this might sound controversial, especially if you’ve been scrolling Pinterest boards and color palettes for weeks. But I promise—perfection comes in many shapes and sizes when it comes to outfits.
Matching outfits can be beautiful, and it’s important that everyone feels good in what they’re wearing. But if choosing the “perfect” look is stressing you out, pause. Take a deep breath. Your family is already beautiful.
Even if your little one is wearing bright red socks and a superhero t-shirt, and hubby only likes his pastel dress shirts, it's okay. But it typically isn't even that, just getting stuck between which shade of blue dad should wear, and whether your daughter should wear brown or tan. Choose something that you feel confident in for your outfit, and ask your family members to select one of the options that they like best, and wear those outfits confidently to your session and love on each other!
(I do know that this can feel so overwhelming and crippling to moms which is why I include client closet access and styling assistance with every package!)
Four: Photos aren't about posing perfectly, they're about connection
Want to know a secret? Even if your toddler is being crabby or swatting at you, if you keep smiling and snuggle them close—the photos are still going to look beautiful.
Your photographer can capture the tenderness in that moment: you choosing to care more about your child than about whether they’re “performing.” And believe it or not, your child will feel that, too.
Kids come alive when they have your undivided attention. When they’re free to laugh, play, and be themselves, you’ll see their real smiles—their real joy—and you’ll walk away with not just photos, but memories from the whole experience.
So if your little one gets distracted by a ladybug and won’t stand still, resist the urge to pull them back into a pose.
Instead, crouch down beside them so that your faces are close to each other (bonus: it’s flattering in photos 😉), enter their world, and join in their wonder. Point to the spots on the ladybug’s back and count them together.
You can always return to the pose later, but you won't ever get that specific moment of connection back.
Five: You’re allowed to enjoy this.
It’s okay if it’s not your husband’s favorite thing - He’s showing up because he loves you. It’s okay if the kids don’t understand why it has to happen every year (one day, they will get it!)
You are allowed to enjoy getting dressed up, feeling beautiful and being pampered. You could even *gasp* splurge and get your hair and make up done if that is what you’d love!! Let yourself enjoy that hour with your people. Soak up their snuggles and kisses. Bask in their laughter - Even if it’s because your photographer made a fart joke. This isn’t a time for checklists. It’s a time to breathe, to relax, and to be fully present in the moment.
You’re going to look back on these photos with so much fondness—not just for how they look, but for how they felt.
